ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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