i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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