no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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