Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
