Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize