i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.