he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head