I want to walk on stilts...naked
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.