What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize