I wannas sexs uuuuu
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
