My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just want to make out with him forever
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
