I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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