Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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