Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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