mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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