She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
