I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
