You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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