At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
