I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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