Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
