i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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