It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
