i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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