I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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