At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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