You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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