I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
