people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
