As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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