who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
