nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
