It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
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The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
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She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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