So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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