I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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