dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
