Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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