He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
