it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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