Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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