Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
