I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
