doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
