if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
