Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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