I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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