i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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