I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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