uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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