Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
