i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
