went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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