I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Vodka?
Forever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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