We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
