Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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