I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
