soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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