Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize