i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
