Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
