I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize