i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
